Are You Affected by Social/Emotional Contagion?

Have you ever noticed that you and 5 of your closest friends all like the same fruity drink when you go out for a night on the town?

Ever notice that when your best friend is in a downer mood, your mood drops too?

Have you been around someone really happy, only to realize that you actually feel more energized and content after having been around them?

If you can relate to any of those scenarios, then perhaps unknowingly, you have been affected by social / emotional contagion.

Much like catching a cold, and then spreading it to others, social and emotional contagion is the phenomenon of being greatly affected by others’ opinions, mood, energy or behavior.

It explains things like “mob mentality” when people go crazy and do things – shout, yell, destroy property- that they would otherwise never do on their own.

We have only to look at the example of January 6th and the mayhem that went on at the Capital to see what social / emotional contagion looks like at its worst.

The thing is, we can use social / emotional contagion for good, or for creating chaos and mayhem. 

Granted, some of us are more sensitive to the behaviors, words and moods of others.

And, the truth is, we are all affected by this to a larger or smaller extent. 

The key to not getting swept up in someone else’s bad mood, bad actions, or nefarious acts is awareness.

The more we realize we all affect, and are affected by one another, and the more we stay attuned to that, the more we can recognize when we’re positively getting swept up ( like listening to a great speech or podcast) and when to back down ( like when people are trying to hurt and kill leaders in the Capital). 

While some may have developed or innately possess leadership qualities, and others tend to have the inclination to be a follower, this phenomenon of social / emotional contagion affects both.

Think about how this affects your business, or work life.  What does this look like in the company culture you experience?  When one person starts complaining, do you notice how others chime in?

When one leader declares, “that idea will never work” do you notice how others jump on that negative train?

Now consider how social / emotional contagion affects your relationships and family life.

How does it affect you when your partner is steeped in stress from their day and they come home and ooze their distress all over the place?

What do you notice in yourself after you have spent time around them?

Conversely, what happens in your home when one of your kiddos comes home with excitement over their day at school?  Whether they aced a test, met a new friend on the playground, or got chosen for the lead in the school play, their mood and exuberance can be contagious.

What does social/emotional contagion mean then for our health and wellbeing physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and relationally?

Might we be a bit more observant and aware of when to jump into the fray of excitement and happiness- which allows for the flow of happy neurochemicals- and perhaps learn to set boundaries with people and behaviors that are not advantageous to us to “catch?”

In other words, we don’t have to get swallowed up when social / emotional contagion is occurring in an unhealthy way.  We can take a time out, change our location, change the subject, get off social media or just say no.

We can say yes to the kind of social and emotional contagion that allows us to feel great and flourish in our environment and in our own bodies and minds.

Consider increasing your awareness of how the people closest to you, especially the 5 closest people to you affect your mood and happiness.

You are not obligated to be around negative, toxic, controlling, condemning, critical, judgmental people who may influence your thoughts, feelings and moods in a consistently negative way. This is true of social media, as well as in real life.

Surround yourself with people who bring love, joy, peace, creativity, calm, and good vibes to the party.

Your health and quality of life depend on it.