Give the Gift of Sanity this Holiday Season

Are you one of those people- the kind where every holiday gathering has to be just

right? The right decorations, and the right menu and the house must be clean within an

inch of it’s life? Are you that person who has so much anxiety about everything being

just right that you have forgotten how to enjoy the holidays?

It can be enormously difficult for some people to embrace what is; anything less than

perfect can feel unbearable.

Where did this drive for perfection come from and more importantly how do we heal

from the need to make everything juuuuussst right?

For those that feel like they have to get everything just right, it can make the home

environment feel very stressful for both a spouse or partner, and any kiddos living at

home. As anxiety about making things perfect goes up, so does the tension in the home

for everyone.

So, what can you do about this? If this describes you, consider the following to save

your sanity and make the holidays much less stressful and so much more enjoyable.

- LET GO OF THE IDEA OF PERFECTION. Perfection exists in the fantasy, not

the reality! What would it sound like in your mind if you gave yourself permission

to say “nothing here has to be perfect.” I can learn to be ok in a less than perfect

environment. Notice what it feels like to say that.

- PRACTICE SITTING IN THE DISCOMFORT OF IMPERFECTION. You may be

someone who has experienced imperfection and was raised that mistakes were

unacceptable. You may have realized early on that when you made an error in

judgment there was some pretty harsh criticism or even abuse. This likely trained

you that when you fell short there was a hefty price to pay.

- LEARN TO EMBRACE THE MESSY. Especially if you live in a house with little

ones, or anyone else but yourself really. Humans are messy. Our relationships

can get complicated or messy at times. When we recognize our own shortcomings along

with finding more grace and compassion for our self and others, we can embrace

and learn to live with the messy moments more easily.

- VISUALIZE THE HOLIDAY CELEBRATIONS YOU DESIRE. What do you want

them to look like? How might you scale down or simplify a bit? Whether its

slimming down the menu, putting up a few less decorations, or just deciding that

spending time with those you love is most important, visualize what you want.

- PRIORITIZE AND LET VALUES LEAD. This is a good time to have that

meaningful chat with your partner or spouse about what is most important to

them, and what is most important to you. Rather than mindlessly doing what you

have always done, be intentional this year.

In the end, only you can create the memorable experiences you want to have for

yourself, your partner and /or your children. What do you want the people you love to

take away- that you were so stressed and anxious to make everything perfect that you

were not present… or that you made a nice holiday and embraced the imperfect as you

enjoyed family and friends and the meaning behind the celebration.

Lastly, seek professional mental health help if your anxiety is pervasive or overwhelming

to you. Look to livewellkitsap.com/mind-your-health for resources.