Dealing More Effectively with our Collective Distress

It only takes reading one news article about what is happening in our country, to feel angry, helpless and depressed.

The news is pretty grim in our country and in many parts of the world right now.

So much divisiveness, injustice, fear and hatred.  Flagrant violations of law and common decency abound, and thoughts of how to help make a difference (or pack bags and leave) are common for many of us who care about our fellow human, neighbor, community and country.

As a mental health professional, I am privy to hearing many of your stories, frustrations, anxieties and feelings of hopelessness about our country and its future.  Many wonder if we will be able to hold onto our beloved democracy- that thing we lived under that most of us took for granted until it got threatened.  

How do we cope with all of this chaos and shifting into places we never thought possible in our own country?

While I certainly do not claim to have any or all the answers to such complexities occurring daily, I would like to offer some thoughts that may provide some help or relief on some level.

1. Control what you can control.  Making a list of the specific issues that are causing you to feel down, frustrated, helpless, etc.  Then examine each issue on the list.  Look at what is within your control or influence, where you can make even a small impact.

2. Make a plan to execute actions that you are able.  If that means joining an active protest, then mark your calendar and peacefully protest.  If that means researching non- profits, agencies and organizations that support migrants, the homeless, or others that are facing persecution and /or are under resourced, look at where you can plug in. 

3. Connect with people in your community.  When people in communities connect and forge stronger bonds, focusing more on what we all have in common, what we desire most and how to make that happen, we strengthen the whole community.  Make it a point to connect, create and collaborate with others in areas that really matter.

4. Take news in small doses.  For some that means a news fast, and for others it can mean only allowing themselves to hear or see 15 minutes a day of news... be strategic and intentional about where and when you get your news.  When we see, hear or read bad, stressful news, our whole body reacts by secreting stress hormones that elevate our heart rate, cause irritability, lower our energy and immunity and generally make us more miserable.  Do not let your body and brain be in a constant state of stress- especially over the things we cannot control.

5. Be intentional.  Learn and practice taking specific action personally, managing you and your emotions, while taking action in your communities.  Then add to your list of issues, all the aspects of each individual issue that you cannot control.  Practice surrendering that which you cannot control or influence.

6. If you are a person of faith- pray.  Those of us with faith and a belief in God ( or a higher power) have to believe that God sees all and trust that He will intervene on our behalf in His perfect timing.  Pray daily and take comfort that we are not in this alone.  Lean into your faith community and into safe people. 

   
   

Yes, there are horrific things happening in our world and in our country.  Yes, the chaos and mayhem are real. Yes, your feelings of intense frustration, anger and helplessness are valid.  And, in the midst of all that, try the aforementioned suggestions and see if that brings back some of your joy- or at least quells some of your distress.